


10 Horny Friends and 1 Exhausted Canadian

by HPFanGirl99



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 12:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18810748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFanGirl99/pseuds/HPFanGirl99
Summary: Or why Canada should’ve soundproofed his bedroom, or at least gotten earplugs before everyone spent the weekend at his house.





	10 Horny Friends and 1 Exhausted Canadian

**Author's Note:**

> Background:
> 
> This takes place sometime in 1996, which was when Canada was the first Chair of the Arctic Council from 96-98. Although Nokia phones weren’t around till 97-8, for the sake of the story Canada has one. Think of it like the nations are the first ones to test out new technology.
> 
> I’m ignoring the fact that Hong Kong didn’t become independent from England until 1997 for the sake of the story. 
> 
> The only thing the others are saying in their foreign languages are hello, good morning, goodbye, swear words, and thank you. For that reason, I’m not going to give a translation at the bottom. I just used Google Translate, so correct me if any of it’s wrong.
> 
> Enjoy

Canada lay on his bed, frustrated beyond belief. The Arctic Council members (the Nordics, America, Russia, and himself) were gathered at his house. Since he had been one of the ones to suggest the whole idea, they had all decided to make him the first Chair of the Arctic Council.

As a result, he would be hosting the meetings at his place for the next 2 years. Because his house outside of his capital was the size of a mansion, he had decided to have all of his guests stay there. Besides the 7 other members of the Arctic Council, Hong Kong was staying upon request of his boyfriend. Since it was nearing Easter, England and France had also decided to come over early to spend time with him and America. 

That made a total of 10 guests at his house. Who all were currently having loud, passionate sex with their respective partners.

Despite the situation, Canada’s lips twitched in a faint smirk. It had come as a surprise to him that the quieter nations were the loudest when having sex; aka Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Hong Kong, and Norway. Although he mused, Sweden and Finland were most likely breaking in the new IKEA furniture he had furnished their room with. Since it was the Arctic Council’s first-time meeting in his house, he had tastefully decorated all of their rooms.

He knew that they would be meeting at least 3 more times at his house over the next 2 years. Mon Dieu. At least it would be another 6 months until there was another meeting. Enough time to do something about this. He’d have to get his room soundproofed once they left.

At another loud moan, Canada buried his head under his pillow, desperately trying to block out the sounds coming from the rooms around him. He should’ve expected this to happen. It wasn’t so bad when there were only one or two couples having sex, but five couples all at the same time? This was a nightmare. Unfortunately for him, he was an extremely light sleeper.

Canada glanced at the clock, letting out a groan. It was only 1:15 in the morning. He let out a long sigh, before reluctantly getting up. If he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, he might as well catch up on some paperwork.

Canada sat down at his desk, grabbing a large stack of papers. The words blurred before his eyes, before he started getting some work done.

Canada frowned, straining his ears after a while. Silence. Blessed silence. A slow grin curled his face. _Finally_. He glanced at his clock and winced. It was 2:25 in the morning. He knew nations had lots of stamina, but he didn’t think they had _that_ much.

Exhausted, Canada got out of the desk chair, before staggering over to his bed. Flopping down in it, he closed his eyes. Merde. Now he couldn’t get to sleep. He rolled over, willing himself to fall asleep. He kept shifting and turning, desperately trying to find a comfy spot. After what seemed like an eternity, he felt himself slowly falling asleep.

After what seemed like mere minutes, Canada was jarred awake by his alarm. He smashed a hand over the alarm, before reluctantly getting up. He glanced at the alarm, moaning under his breath. Tabarnak. It was only 6:30 in the morning. He probably had gotten about 1-3 hours of sleep. He felt utterly exhausted right now, and his head was pounding. As much as he wanted to go back to sleep, he had to get up to make breakfast. He may be pissed off at his guests right now, but that was no excuse for him to be a rude host.

Canada desperately hoped he had plenty of coffee in the house. He needed caffeine immediately. Feeling a surge of panic, he stumbled out of his room and slowly made his way down to the kitchen. Frantically throwing open the door to his pantry, he let out a sigh of relief. He had stocked up on enough coffee to last him about a month or two. He knew that all the Nordics, America and himself needed lots of coffee in the morning; so, he had made sure to get a ton of the good stuff.

Grabbing a can of coffee and a bottle of maple syrup, Canada started up his coffee machine. He made sure to put in double the amount of coffee grounds in, knowing he was going to need a huge amount of caffeine to even begin to function. Dragging a chair over to his cupboards, he started rummaging around until he found his special coffee mug. It was one that he only used in times of great emergency: his ½ gallon mug. It could fit a whole pot of coffee in the mug.

After what seemed like an hour, the coffee had finally finished brewing. Pouring the whole pot into his mug, he dumped ½ the jar of maple syrup and a bit of milk in before mixing it up. He quickly drained the mug, before starting up another pot of coffee.

In the time it took for the second pot to brew, Canada felt himself slowly becoming more alert. As soon as the pot finished brewing, he poured in into his mug and added the rest of the jar of maple syrup and some milk. This time, he drank it at a much slower pace.

Alright, now he was feeling much more alert. Canada felt a surge of anger at the situation. He wanted to make his guests pay for what they had inadvertently done but had no idea of what to do. It had to be in a passive aggressive way, otherwise, he’d feel bad later on. Maybe Prussia would have an idea.

Grabbing his headset from the counter, he hooked it into his Nokia and leaned against the counter. Turning his phone on, he quickly found his boyfriend’s contact in his phone. Pressing the call button, he desperately hoped Gilbert would pick up. After the second ring, to his utter relief, a familiar voice came onto the line.

“Guten morgen, Birdie. You’re up early. What’s up?” The harsh voice on the other end sounded soothing to Canada’s ears right now.

“They all kept me up having wild sex,” Canada grumbled in German. He wanted to keep his conversation private, even though he knew most of the Nordics knew German.

He winced at the laughter coming over the line. “Kesesese! Disappointed I couldn’t keep you company?”

Canada rolled his eyes. “I was only able to get a couple of hours of sleep and now I’m exhausted” he whined miserably.

He could sense the other man’s panic. “Shit! How much coffee have you had so far?” Prussia sounded worried.

Canada ran his hands through his hair. “I’ve had two pots.”

He could sense the shock coming from his boyfriend. “Fuck. That bad?”

Canada let out a groan. “Do you know how loud 10 people can be having sex with their partners all at the same time?” he complained. “I need some ideas, on how to get back at the others,” Canada said hesitantly.

He could practically hear Prussia’s jaw drop. “Damn, Birdie. Just how pissed off are you right now?”

“Extremely” he grumbled. “I’m not too good at the whole revenge thing.”

He grimaced at Prussia’s laughter. “Kesesese! I’ve corrupted you! I can’t believe it!”

“Shut up and give me some ideas” Canada grumbled.

“Hmm…” he could practically hear the gears grinding in Prussia’s head. After a few seconds, Prussia started talking again. “Well…” his voice sounded hesitant “I got something, but I think it’s too cruel.”

Canada raised an eyebrow. “Let me hear it!” he demanded, curious now. His jaw dropped as he heard Prussia’s punishment. “Fuck, Gil!” He bit his lip, thinking it over. After a few minutes, he reluctantly said, “I’ll do it.”

He could practically hear Prussia’s whimper on the other end. “Do me a favor, Birdie. Never, ever, do this to me. If I ever make you this mad, promise me you’d let me know first. Please, I’m begging you.”

Canada let out a tired laugh. “You have my word, Gil.”

“Thanks, Birdie.” Canada could hear the utterly relieved sigh come from Prussia and snickered. “Well, I better leave you to your plotting. Love you.”

“Love you too, Gil,” he said softly, before disconnecting the call.

Canada stared longingly at the phone for a second, before he started rummaging around in the cupboards for breakfast supplies. He hoped that making a great breakfast would soften what he was about to do.

Turning on the stove, he pulled out all the supplies to make a proper breakfast. Since there were 10 guests right now, he would need to make a lot of food. It had been ages since he was able to cook for anyone other than America, England, or France; he wanted to show off.

Getting another pot of coffee brewing, he started to set the table. Going back into the kitchen, he got the cups, bowls, and plates out in piles on the counter. He wasn’t sure who would be the first to get up, but he desperately hoped America would be so tired from his activities last night that he wouldn’t be up for a while; otherwise, his plan wouldn’t be as effective.

Once everything was all set up, he went back over to the stove and pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his contacts until he reached the one he needed, he took a deep breath before he hit the call button.

After a few rings, the person on the other line picked up. “Szia?”

Canada closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the task at hand. “I…I was wondering if you’d like some information.”

~~~~~~~

After about 15 minutes of cooking, Canada startled ever so slightly as Russia suddenly entered the kitchen. Giving a small apology to the person on the other line, he softly said “Bonjour, Ivan. Grab whatever you want, and you can start eating. Tell the others I’ll join you guys once everyone’s up and has food.”

Russia gave him a cheerful smile, and Canada envied how the other was naturally awake. He was never a morning person, so the idea of someone being up this early baffled him. “Privet, Matvey. This all looks very delicious. Spasibo!” Russia grabbed some hot water and food, before heading into the dining room.

Canada frowned ever so slightly in worry, Russia might know what language he had been talking in. He quickly asked the person on the other line and was relieved at the negative response. He continued talking and cooking, although he was aware of the faintly curious looks Russia was throwing him. Considering Russia wasn’t staring at him in utter terror, he obviously didn’t understand him.

After a few more minutes, he heard Russia exclaim “Privet, Hong Kong,” and for Hong Kong to reply “Russia”. He glanced out into the dining room to see a wide-awake Hong Kong looking at the teas.

His lips quirked up ever so slightly, he knew that the selection of teas would please both Hong Kong and England. He had made sure to put out only the best quality loose-leaf teas that England had insisted he keep for whenever he visited.

He gave Hong Kong a tired smile when he entered the kitchen, which was politely returned. “Thanks, Matthieu. Good thing you inherited the French cooking genes,” Hong Kong softly murmured, causing Canada to let out a laugh. He grabbed two mugs of water and a plate of food before sitting down in the dining room.

After a bit, he suddenly heard a cheerful voice ring out “God morgen guys!” He blinked in surprise, not expecting Denmark to be up already. He’d heard rumors that the Nordics were _not_ morning people in the slightest.

He didn’t bother looking up when Denmark entered the kitchen, and thus wasn’t expecting to be glomped. “Tak, Mattie!” was shouted in his ear, making Canada wince. He immediately twisted out of Denmark’s grip, before whacking him on the head with the metal spatula he had been using.

He glared at Denmark when the other nation just laughed, looking amused. “Get some food and get out of my kitchen” he snapped in irritation, not in the mood for Denmark’s antics.

Denmark grinned, giving Canada a sloppy salute. “Aye aye, Captain.” To Canada’s satisfaction, Denmark rather hastily grabbed some food and a cup of coffee before going back into the dining room. Canada grumbled under his breath about annoying nations, earning him a giggle from the speaker on the other line.

After a bit longer, England stumbled into the dining room, looking half dead on his feet. Canada watched in relief as Hong Kong pressed a cup of tea into England’s hands, who rather gratefully took it. They both knew from experience that England was grumpy in the mornings before he drank a cup of tea.

After drinking the cup in a few seconds flat, England entered the kitchen. He gave Canada a stiff nod, which was returned before England went back into the dining room. Canada had to suppress a giggle at England’s behavior, he had learned the hard way not to disturb him and France when they were cooking.

After a while, Canada shivered ever so slightly when he suddenly felt an icy feeling hit him. He glanced up to see a heavily glaring Sweden stumble into the kitchen, looking exhausted. Sweden grabbed a cup of coffee and immediately drowned it, before getting another cup and some food and heading into the dining room.

After about a few minutes, Iceland silently came in, grabbed a cup of coffee and some food, before he went into the dining room.

After about 15 minutes had elapsed, he watched a half-awake Norway walk into the kitchen. He wordlessly grabbed a mug, some food, and the whole entire pot of coffee, before heading towards the dining room. Canada’s lips quirked up in faint amusement before he got another pot started.

After a few more minutes, France entered the kitchen. “Bonjour, Matthieu!” France exclaimed, a smile on his face as he came over and pressed a kiss on Canada’s forehead in greeting.

Canada felt a small smile also curl his face. “Bonjour, Papa” he murmured back. France grabbed some food and a single cup of coffee and headed out to the dining room.

By this time, he had finished his initial topic with the person on the other line and was now making small talk. He just needed to hold out until America woke up and heard him, then his revenge would be complete.

After a bit, Finland came into the kitchen, acting remarkably like Sweden with the glare on his face. He grabbed the pot of coffee, a mug, and some food before going into the dining room.

Canada froze in horror, oh god, would Finland be able to understand him? He frantically asked and was relieved at the answer of no, their languages weren’t close enough, but he would recognize it. The other had then laughed and said Finland wouldn’t be fully functional for another hour or two to realize it. Canada had let out a faint chuckle of his own, relieved.

He got a new pot of coffee started since America tended to need a lot of coffee in the morning.

After what seemed like an eternity, America finally came into the kitchen. Canada had made sure to turn his conversation in a completely innocent direction as soon as he heard the thundering steps come down the stairs.

America let out a cheery greeting of “Hey guys”, which was either met by grunts or polite greetings. He came into the kitchen, before eagerly grabbing some food and coffee.

America went into the dining room, before sitting down. Canada forced himself not to grin at the curious looks America was giving him as he started finishing up his cooking. After about 5 minutes, America finally broke down. “Hey, any idea why Mattie’s speaking Hungarian?”

It was like they all had buckets of ice-cold water dumped on them. All conversation immediately stopped as they all looked directly at him. Canada innocently smiled at them as he finished up the phone call. “Viszlát, Elizabeta,” he cheerfully said out slightly louder than normal, before hanging up.

Canada grabbed some food once the kitchen was cleaned up, before sitting down in the dining room. “Hey, how did you all sleep?” he innocently asked his white-faced and horrified looking guests.

“Good,” America hesitantly got out after a few.

Canada gave them a cheery smile. “That’s great!” he exclaimed, before eagerly digging into the food.

Later that night, Canada grinned madly when he didn’t hear a single noise from any of the guest rooms.

**Author's Note:**

> On the advice of Megan, I changed the rating from Mature to Teen and Up. I apologize for any confusion. Since I'm new to posting on here, I thought it would be best to give this a higher rating just in case, since there is offscreen sex. 
> 
> I want to thank AquaEclipse, who gave me some advice on writing Hong Kong, which I corrected based on their suggestion.


End file.
